Jealousy

Everyone gets jealous from time to time, even the most nice people and quiet people like me gets jealous sometimes. It is not Haram to be jealous, in fact it is normal, but there ways which you can control it and overcome it.

There are many reasons why we get jealous. Sometimes people feel insecure and feel like they are inferior when someone else has something which they don't have but want to such as a fancy car, a mansion, money, etc. We even feel jealous when someone else has accomplished something which we wish we had such as winning a contest, good grades. Even in relationships we feel jealous sometimes when someone who we're close  to spends time with someone else, for instance, you see your best friend spending time with another friend, you feel insecure because you feel like your best friend likes this friend better than you. Social media such as facebook, instagram and snapchat can lead to jealousy because we assume that people's lives are perfect just by looking at their photos, videos and statuses, but the truth is we don't know what they're going through.

Sometimes, extreme jealousy can  cause us to do things which are Haram such as suicide, bullying, stealing, gossiping and spreading rumors, ignoring someone and leaving them out of  a group on purpose.  Allah does not want us to act like this, because if  we resort to any of these negative behaviors there will be consequences such as; being grounded, getting your privileges taken away like mobile phones, being banned from going on field trips,  getting arrested, etc. Please think twice before resorting to any of these bullying behaviors which are listed above.

Here are some examples of cases of jealousy which has occured based on my own personal experience and in general. From my personal experience, I have a cousin who is my age had just got her own driving license. I felt a lump in my throat. I felt like I was going to cry. So I talked to my sister about it, who went through a similar experience and I felt better. I  no longer feel jealous of her right now,in fact I'm happy for here for what she has accomplished. Another example in general which did not actually happen, let's say I get a B minus and another girl gets an A star, my thoughts would be like, 'This is so unfair, I've studied so hard for this test, how come she gets an A star and I get a B minus!' Then some other girl gets a C, I feel relieved, 'Hmm, maybe I didn't do so bad after all, this girl who got the C, is probably feeling jealous of me and this  A star girl too.'  Another example which also didn't happen; my best friend shows me her new house which is huge, it looks like a mansion, she has like everything, a limo, more than six bedrooms and even her own burger king restaurant, here are my thoughts,'Oh she and her family are so rich, they have like everything, she is so spoiled, how come she gets  to live in this mansion while I get to live in a three-bedroom flat.' See what I mean? This is  how we feel like when we are jealous.


When you are feeling jealous, let out your emotions in a constructive way. Please don't bottle them up, it's not good. Do not resort to abusive behaviors which I have mentioned before. Don't ignore someone who you  are jealous of or give them the silent treatment, you don't want them to feel like,
'Why is she treating me like this? What did I do wrong?' In other words, you don't want them to think that they've done something wrong.  If you have ever hurt someone whether physically or emotionally, please apologize, they may or may not forgive you and sadly, your relationship might  not be the same as it was before. Whenever you're spending time with your close friend or family member  and you feel jealous, talk to them about it and try  to work it out and make sure that your jealousy doesn't get in the way, you don't it to ruin your relationship with others. right? Please don't compare yourself to other people. Their life might not be as perfect as it seems. Instead focus on your strengths rather than theirs. If you are facing extreme jealousy, and it is taking over your life please seek help from a therapist. Please talk to someone about your feelings whenever you feel envy towards someone. they can give you good advice and you never know, they might go through a similar experience as you. Trust me, you'll feel better after talking to someone.

Now that we've feel talked about what to do when you are jealous, but what about when someone is jealous of you? Here is what you can do. Firstly, try to talk to this person, remind them of all the things which they are good at, and talk to them about the tough experiences which you've been through, it might make them feel better. If a jealous person ever tries to physically harm you or emotionally harm you, please seek help. They'll learn their lesson soon enough.

Jealousy is a normal feeling to have which everyone including us, people from all different backgrounds and religions experience. However, it can lead to aggressive behavior like bullying.
There are ways to overcome jealousy by talking to someone you trust about how you feel.

If Reva Dalby, the Silent Night character was real

Imagine if Reva Dalby in the book called Silent Night by R.l Stine was real. She is the richest girl in Shadyside. Her dad owns a hundred department stores and her mother died in a plane or car accident, whatever it was I forgot. Would she be your friend or enemy? She would be my enemy because I hate her, she would be jealous of me because I would beat her in every class and also I would refuse her offer of friendship just like Harry did to Draco Malfoy in Harry Potter.

We would meet in a shop called Debenhams. This is how our meeting would turn out:
Reva: Hi
Me: Hi
Reva: What's your name?
Me: Huda
Reva: I'm Reva, by the way where does your father work?
Me: Sorry?
Reva: Where does your father work?
Me: He works as an engineer.
Reva: Yes, I meant where? Does he own a department store just like my father does?
Me: That is really not your concern.
Reva: I was just asking. What is wrong with that?
Me: I really appreciate it if you don't ask personal questions.
Reva: ok
Reva: Where are your parents?
Me: They are here in the men's section. What about yours?
Reva:None of your business
Me: Sorry
Reva:  My mother died in a plane crash, my father is working in a department store called Dalby's. They made a branch here in Dubai. I get to work in a perfume counter. It's so boring. Annoying customers come up to me asking for help. Why don't they ask someone else, can't they see I'm busy? My supervisor is also annoying, she keeps on lecturing me on how to behave. She's my supervisor not my boss or my mum. I also put a black dot on my nail just to annoy her. Want to see? ( shows me her nails)
Me: (makes a disgusted look)
Reva: Why are you wearing that scarf, are you cold?
Me: No
Reva: Who are you dating or are you single?
Me: WHAT?
Reva: I asked who are you dating? What's wrong with asking questions, huh?
Me: I really appreciate it if you didn't ask such questions. Goodbye(leaves)
Mama: What's wrong?
Me: I just had a bad encounter with a girl  named Reva. She was asking rude questions.
Mama: Don't let her get to you sweetie
Me: I just hope she doesn't go to the same school that I go to. I just had enough.

The next day much to my irritation, she would go to the same school that I would go to. We would become enemies. She would spread rumors about me but most people wouldn't believe it anyway. I would ignore her insults pretending they didn't bother me but they would. I would go home crying to my parents about it. They would come to the school and talk to the teachers. They would hate her just as much as I do. I mean she would always come to class late and talk back to the teachers. They would try talking to her dad who tells her that he hopes that her attitude would change. He wouldn't even scold her. I mean he always spoils her and does whatever she wants. And thats how it would be like if Reva Dalby was real.

School

School is a place where children are taught. We all know that, right? We all know why we're going to school is because we want to learn new stuff. We want to make friends.
What I like about school is it's fun. I get a lot of homework. I think homework is good for the brain because it teaches me good tips. I don't want to waste my time watching television, eating, sleeping and spending my time on facebook. I also like going to assemblies and my favourite part of it is the certificates and awards because I can't wait to read out my merit to see how well I've done throughout the school term. My favourite subject is Science and favourite part is the experiments because I like investigating stuff.

What I dislike about school is the bullying,fighting and other problems. Another thing is at recess time some students don't sit down when they are eating and they throw the rubbish in the ground. I can't deal with this and teachers always asks the students to pick up the trash and they sometimes don't listen and they are also some other students throwing their food without any reason this is wasting and it is not allowed in the Islamic culture. They sometimes talk when they are not supposed to and it really annoys me and the teachers have to deal with this. I also don't like in Ict when we are free and we can play games one student puts the speaker very loud, it's  very annoying and I can't concentrate on my work. I know they are headphones in the computer lab, why don't they just use them? Last but not least is the bathroom. Whenever I go in it's very dirty and I always smell something very disgusting. I don't know what to do and I can't get out. I really need it.