Friday, April 28, 2017


Everyone gets jealous from time to time, even the most nice people and quiet people like me gets jealous sometimes. It is not Haram to be jealous, in fact it is normal, but there ways which you can control it and overcome it.

There are many reasons why we get jealous. Sometimes people feel insecure and feel like they are inferior when someone else has something which they don't have but want to such as a fancy car, a mansion, money, etc. We even feel jealous when someone else has accomplished something which we wish we had such as winning a contest, good grades. Even in relationships we feel jealous sometimes when someone who we're close  to spends time with someone else, for instance, you see your best friend spending time with another friend, you feel insecure because you feel like your best friend likes this friend better than you. Social media such as facebook, instagram and snapchat can lead to jealousy because we assume that people's lives are perfect just by looking at their photos, videos and statuses, but the truth is we don't know what they're going through.

Sometimes, extreme jealousy can  cause us to do things which are Haram such as suicide, bullying, stealing, gossiping and spreading rumors, ignoring someone and leaving them out of  a group on purpose.  Allah does not want us to act like this, because if  we resort to any of these negative behaviors there will be consequences such as; being grounded, getting your privileges taken away like mobile phones, being banned from going on field trips,  getting arrested, etc. Please think twice before resorting to any of these bullying behaviors which are listed above.

Here are some examples of cases of jealousy which has occured based on my own personal experience and in general. From my personal experience, I have a cousin who is my age had just got her own driving license. I felt a lump in my throat. I felt like I was going to cry. So I talked to my sister about it, who went through a similar experience and I felt better. I  no longer feel jealous of her right now,in fact I'm happy for here for what she has accomplished. Another example in general which did not actually happen, let's say I get a B minus and another girl gets an A star, my thoughts would be like, 'This is so unfair, I've studied so hard for this test, how come she gets an A star and I get a B minus!' Then some other girl gets a C, I feel relieved, 'Hmm, maybe I didn't do so bad after all, this girl who got the C, is probably feeling jealous of me and this  A star girl too.'  Another example which also didn't happen; my best friend shows me her new house which is huge, it looks like a mansion, she has like everything, a limo, more than six bedrooms and even her own burger king restaurant, here are my thoughts,'Oh she and her family are so rich, they have like everything, she is so spoiled, how come she gets  to live in this mansion while I get to live in a three-bedroom flat.' See what I mean? This is  how we feel like when we are jealous.

When you are feeling jealous, let out your emotions in a constructive way. Please don't bottle them up, it's not good. Do not resort to abusive behaviors which I have mentioned before. Don't ignore someone who you  are jealous of or give them the silent treatment, you don't want them to feel like,
'Why is she treating me like this? What did I do wrong?' In other words, you don't want them to think that they've done something wrong.  If you have ever hurt someone whether physically or emotionally, please apologize, they may or may not forgive you and sadly, your relationship might  not be the same as it was before. Whenever you're spending time with your close friend or family member  and you feel jealous, talk to them about it and try  to work it out and make sure that your jealousy doesn't get in the way, you don't it to ruin your relationship with others. right? Please don't compare yourself to other people. Their life might not be as perfect as it seems. Instead focus on your strengths rather than theirs. If you are facing extreme jealousy, and it is taking over your life please seek help from a therapist. Please talk to someone about your feelings whenever you feel envy towards someone. they can give you good advice and you never know, they might go through a similar experience as you. Trust me, you'll feel better after talking to someone.

Now that we've feel talked about what to do when you are jealous, but what about when someone is jealous of you? Here is what you can do. Firstly, try to talk to this person, remind them of all the things which they are good at, and talk to them about the tough experiences which you've been through, it might make them feel better. If a jealous person ever tries to physically harm you or emotionally harm you, please seek help. They'll learn their lesson soon enough.

Jealousy is a normal feeling to have which everyone including us, people from all different backgrounds and religions experience. However, it can lead to aggressive behavior like bullying.
There are ways to overcome jealousy by talking to someone you trust about how you feel.