Friday, April 20, 2012

Jill and the Cornstalk

I wrote a fractured fairytale of 'Jack and the beanstalk'. I hope you'll crack up laughing as you read this.

Narrator: Once upon a time there lived a girl called Jill. She lived with her dad and two brothers Andrew and Jay. They were a poor family. All they had was a sheep.

Jill's dad: Jill, please go and sell this sheep. We haven't got enough food to eat.

Narrator: So Jill went and sold this sheep. There was an old man selling corn.
Jill: Hi sir, can I please have these corn?
Old man: Yes, please.
Narrator: Jill took the corn and replaced it with the sheep and ran home. Jill's dad wasn't happy at all when he saw the corn.
Jill's dad: You should've at least bought something cheaper than this stupid corn( takes the corn from Jill's hand angrily and throws it out of the window).
Andrew: This is all your fault Jill, you made us poor. That's why we told you to sell this damn sheep.
Jay: And now you bring us this crap corn.

Narrator: The next morning,Jill woke up. She saw a huge thing growing. Jill looked out from her window. She saw a huge corn and she couldn't believe it.
Jill: ( realizes it's a magic corn) Dad, Andrew, Jay, you have to come and see this. ( Nobody replied and came).
Jill: Hello! Guys, didn't you hear me? ( still no reply)I'd rather go outside and climb this thing.
Narrator: Jill went up this huge corn till she reached the top. She saw a huge castle so she opened the door and went inside.
Jill: It's dark in here( turns on the light). Wow, this place is fabulus.
Narrator: Jill suddenly hears a sound and the room starts shaking. It was a giant.
Giant: Who's in there? I hear and smell the blood of a girl. Either she's dead or alive I'm gonna eat her body for breakfast.
Jill: ( starts to shiver and hides behind the fieplace. The giant enters the room. There's a bird).
Giant: Hey little birdie, say cuckoo! ( the bird says cuckoo. Then the giant searches around his room for the girl's body that he wanted to eat for his breakfast).
Jill: ( sees the cuckoo bird and she takes the bird with its cage and runs down the huge corn).
Giant: There she is! I'm gonna get you kid! ( Jill ran down down the huge corn. She saw the giant was about to get down).
Jill: ( to Jay) Can I borrow your gun?
Jay: sure( gives Jill the gun. She shoots. The giant ran up and was never seen again).
Jill's dad: ( looks at the bird) Oh Jill, this is much better than this corn. You made us a happy family. ( gives Jill a hug).


  1. I am cracking up laughing :):):)